my name is tori. many people only know me on a surface level, like how i’m seventeen and a straight A student. but many people don’t know how it was the hardest decision to quit cheerleading after five years. or that i quit cheerleading because i couldnt stand being surrounded by so many girls. and now that i see how those girls, who i once called my team mates, have ended up, i couldnt be more happy to have distanced myself when i did. so many people say that they hate girls and how they are two faced, but many of them haven’t even experienced the fakeness that i have seen go on. ya, i know i talk shit sometimes when i get pissed off, but that’s not my ultimate goal by the end of the day. i don’t have fake friends and little gossip circles. actually, i don’t have many friends anymore. all of my friends were cheerleaders and when i quit, they kind of just disappeared. all throughout high school we would always do everything together and i was always busy with plans, but i felt like i could never be myself and no one ever liked me for the awkward person i really am. i don’t even remember when we stopped being friends, but its still weird to me how i could be so happy and now know that i could never live that life again because i was lying to myself. every one says high school is about finding themselves and i guess i’m the perfect example of that. i may not have a million friends so i’m occupied at every moment and i may spend some time alone now, but the friends i do have mean the world to me. my best friends janessa and kelci just left for college this year and ive been learning to adjust. im meeting many different kinds of people that i would have never exposed myself to before. my friends are wholesome people who i know have my back in any situation and it’s a great feeling. having a lot of free time has given me even more time to spend with my parents, which will make it that much harder when i have to leave for college. i wanted to go somewhere in florida and live the life in the warm weather, but now i don’t know if i want to be so far from the life i am so content with now and not have my mom with me if something horrible happened. i guess a lot has been on my mind lately, but my boyfriend is always right by my side and it feels amazing to finally find someone who i feel so comfortable around and loves me for me. loves me for my crazy ocd mind, lactose intolerant difficulties, anxiety, perfectionism, and jealousy. and also makes my intelligence, humor, generosity, and smile shine. if youre still reading this (which id be very surprised about!) i guess you could say that im just your average teenage girl trying to find a place in this world.

learn to love people for who they REALLY are, and not for who you WANT them to be.